Becoming a mother can be one of the most profound transitions in a woman’s life, yet I believe there is still a significant gap in the support available to women as they navigate it.
So much attention is understandably placed on pregnancy, birth and the baby. But there can be little space for women to process the enormous emotional, psychological, physical and relational shift that comes with becoming a mother.
This is an area of therapy I am particularly passionate about, offering a space where the more complicated, uncomfortable and often unspoken experiences of motherhood can be explored without judgement. I work with the following:
Birth trauma
Attachment and bonding
Processing difficult emotions (anger, rage, resentment, guilt, grief, sadness, loneliness)
Anxiety, intrusive thoughts, feeling constantly “on edge”
Postpartum depression
Identity loss / change and reconnecting with parts of yourself beyond being a mother
Triggers from your own childhood resurfacing
Navigating return to work or changes in career
Regulating your nervous system
Perfectionism and pressure to be a “good mum”
Navigating relationships (including changes in intimacy, communication, resentment, division of responsibility, friendships and relationships with your wider family)
Postpartum & Motherhood
Why Does Motherhood Affect Us So Differently?
There is no single experience of becoming a mother, which is why comparing our journey to someone else’s can so often leave us feeling as though we’re getting it “wrong”. How we experience motherhood is unique and can be shaped by many different parts of our lives, including:
how we were mothered and our own childhood experiences (becoming a parent can bring old wounds, memories, family dynamics or unmet needs back to the surface - normally unconsciously)
our relationship with our parents and family
previous trauma, loss or difficult life experiences
pregnancy and birth experiences
our baby’s temperament, sleep and individual needs
the support we have around us
our relationship with our partner
our personality, expectations and sense of identity
our emotional and mental wellbeing before becoming a parent
work, finances and other pressures in our lives
the expectations we place on ourselves about what a “good mother” should be
our relationship with work, ambition and achievement, including the pressure to “have it all”
Many of these things are difficult to anticipate before having a baby. You might have a plan or an idea of the kind of parent you want to be, or how motherhood will look and feel, but the reality can be very different from what you imagined. Therapy can provide a space to explore the gap between how you imagined motherhood would feel and how it actually feels, making room for whatever emotions arise within that difference.
“Motherhood can put a magnifying glass over our inner world; bringing parts of ourselves to the surface that we didn’t know were there. Feelings, wounds, patterns and parts of ourselves that may previously have been quieter or easier to carry can suddenly become much more visible. Rather than seeing these parts as something that has gone wrong, we can see them as an opportunity to understand ourselves more deeply”